• Cancer,  Life

    How’s She Doing? 5 Years Later, aka “No Really, I’m Good”…with asterisks

    Five years ago this week was one of the longest weeks of my life. My diagnosis had been confirmed the week before, and we were trying to prepare for surgery the following week, but even that date was in the air. My children were in elementary school, and we were doing our best to give them safe answers when we didn’t know many answers, and keep them feeling safe when that definition was a bit wobbly for all of us. I was trying to focus on work enough to assure that things could run smoothly without me (*update, apparently they can 😉 iykyk). I was trying to process so much…

  • Cancer,  Life,  Musings

    Full Circle

    Three years ago today I received the call – the one that threw my family into a different orbit for some time to come. Lately, I’ve been pondering the last three years a good deal. I’ve noticed how much more “healed” I feel now. The Lord keeps impressing on me to notice these things…and to share them. So, today I share again. THREE has felt very significant lately. After some very quick research, I found that THREE represents wholeness, completion. I experienced a moment of wonder when I found this information. In this particular journey, it has taken three years to feel whole again. This wholeness isn’t something I’ve achieved…

  • Cancer,  Musings

    Surviving

    This morning as I drove my daughter downtown to Nutcracker practice, enthusiastically singing along to 70s dance hits, feeling carefree and happy, tears sprang to my eyes. This is what surviving looks like right now – deliciously, blissfully mundane and normal. Not a week goes by that I’m not hit with this same feeling of thankfulness – just insert a different scenario. The practice of referring to cancer patients as “survivors” has generally unsettled me, but I’ve never been able to put words to what bothered me about it. Lately, my thoughts have come together. I have realized that the label of “survivor” (noun) implies something that has already happened.…

  • Cancer,  Life

    Showing Kindness

    Today marks a year since my first chemotherapy treatment. A year since a very needy season of my life picked up steam. So, so much kindness was shown to my family. Over the months while I was receiving treatment, I jotted down some thoughts on how I could best love on others once I was able to shower the love on others instead of just receiving it myself.  I’m going to share those thoughts plus some others with you in the hopes that they encourage you to extend kindness to someone who could use a little. Food – The need for food is universal, but tastes and household structure around food vary greatly.…

  • Cancer,  Life

    One Year Later

    Friday, November 4, 2016. One year ago. I received confirmation of the biopsy results that redirected my family’s time, resources, attention, and hearts for a while to come. We didn’t expect this, nor did we want it, but we managed through it. Some of you know that I really love a paper planner. But, what does a planner have to do with cancer? Nothing, I thought. But, now, just one of those little God details looking back that sends shivers up my spine. Last year I ordered a new brand of planner. This one allowed you to start on any month you choose, so I had it start in November because…

  • Cancer,  Life

    Adjustment Period

    You know what happens when you write a blog post with “abundance” in the title? The enemy swoops in and attacks, causing you to question every line you typed. But, let me tell you, the enemy ain’t got nothin’ on my King [I know, preach Devin!]. For every doubt, every question, every bit of melancholy, Jesus meets me. He’s reminding me that I don’t have to be crippled by chemo for Him to carry me! Summer ended. School started back. I expected the hardest part of the transition to be my eldest starting middle school. Nope. The hardest part of school starting back was going back into the routine of “school normal”…

  • Cancer,  Food

    A Girl and Her Kitchen

    The kitchen is my happy place. This has been true as long as I can remember. When my house is clean, I can’t wait to spread out all over the kitchen counters and cook something just for the fun of it. If I try a dish at a restaurant and fall in love, I have to research and play in my kitchen until I can replicate it. Rearranging my drawers and shelves until they function just like I want them centers me. Reading cookbooks like they are novels is a favorite past time. I love to feed people. Cancer took my kitchen away from me for a while. After surgery…

  • Cancer,  Life,  Musings

    Three Months Out – Abundance

    A little over three months have passed since my final chemo treatment. I had my first follow-up appointment last week, and it felt surreal walking back into the oncology clinic. There are days when I almost forget that the last eight months were anything other than normal – and then I remember and am instantly thankful to be at this point in recovery! Since the last time we were together, school and all the activities have ended, we’ve beached, and summer has fully descended (and throw my birthday, our anniversary, and Reese’s birthday into the mix as well). I’m actually looking at my calendar to remember what has happened because…

  • Cancer,  Life

    6 Weeks Out – Recovering

    I am six weeks out from my last chemo treatment. I wish that meant I could snap my fingers and be at Disney to celebrate (with no crowds and perfect weather and no details to plan and for free), but it really just means that I’m actually doing most all the things that I normally did before (which in truth is it’s own kind of celebration). Physically, I feel pretty GREAT! My energy is back and my stamina is building tremendously. Reflux is waning. My body is allowing me to do things I haven’t been strong enough to do since November (I sometimes forget that my body underwent major surgery – and then I’m…

  • Cancer,  Life

    How’s She Doing? All Done!!

    Today, Monday, April 10 marks the day that I actually feel like chemo is over. It’s the end of the 4th cycle. My last treatment was 3 weeks ago, and I can now officially picture all the medicines starting to fully cycle out of my body. The steroids that have been infused with each treatment really caught up with me this cycle. Reflux and weight gain were the effects I was most warned to expect prior to chemo, and wouldn’t you know, the warnings were correct – dang steroids! Spring is in full force with newness everywhere. That’s how my body feels – new. All the sloughed-off cells revealing young cells ready for…