Madie’s Story

My baby girl turns 11 today. Time has a way of softening memories, so I’m writing the story surrounding her birth as a gift to her future self.

Madie is my rainbow. That’s a phrase I’ve said to anyone who would listen many times over the years. I say it because her life reminds me that God keeps his promises.

Ashley and I found out that we were expecting while traveling to a friend’s wedding rehearsal. We were talking about trying for another child soon, but this news was a surprise. I was so excited and at the same time very anxious as our son was born 6 weeks early, and anyone who has left a baby in the NICU doesn’t relish the idea of repeating that event. Even so, time moved quickly (as it tends to do when chasing a toddler)- the pregnancy was going along smoothly.

Soon, we found out that we were having a girl. We already had her name picked out “Salley Madeline” (Salley is my maiden name. Madeline because we both liked it. And we had the the intention of using the double name). During the ultrasound, a soft marker for Downs Syndrome was present. It was a very soft marker, and my OB told me not to be concerned…so I tried really hard to not be concerned.

Weeks passed, and I didn’t feel great. I was already having contractions – my uterus is really excellent at contracting – and my paranoia about having another premie intensified.

On October 4th I felt especially bad and ended up going to the hospital that night. The first hours at the hospital are a blur – I vaguely remember hearing that I was in labor, had dilated to 1 cm, and would be on bedrest if they were able to stop this labor. Madie was at 26 weeks gestation, and I knew all the scary possibilities for her if labor wouldn’t stop. Thankfully, after a good amount of Mag Sulfate and fluids, things calmed down. I don’t remember how many days I stayed in the hospital, but they were intense days. I was sent home on medication to take every 4 hours around the clock and with instructions to stay in the bed. I would visit my OB every week. And we would pray.

Bedrest wasn’t easy, but I knew with certainty that my job was to do nothing. (In normal life I’m not good at doing nothing, but the Lord gives grace for these things.) Each week that passed was a celebration – one less week in the NICU, less risk for Madie’s ultimate functioning, I was doing my job. Somewhere along the way, we also found out that her Downs soft marker had resolved. Life was a waiting game.

During this hard time, filled with the most unknowns of my life this far, God made Himself so vividly known. For the first time, I “believed” and understood and knew and trusted His words that He forms us in our mother’s womb and we are perfectly made. If this was His perfect plan, then however early, and with whatever limitations, Madie would be just as her creator intended. Perfect in His sight.

8 weeks of bedrest. Then, the very week that I was allowed to stop taking the medicine keeping me from going back into labor (35 weeks gestation), Madie greeted the world. She could have easily been born on the side of Flowood Drive as I was 8cm when we checked into the hospital (I had been having contractions for so long, they didn’t hurt, I was used to them, so it took me a while to realize it was go time!). We had a daughter less than an hour later. 7lbs 1 oz (Yes. She was huge for 35 weeks.)

She was brought to me to hold immediately after delivery, and I cried with such joy. I still can’t explain the feeling of experiencing a normal and uneventful delivery after having so many weeks of expecting the worst. I held this beautiful baby who I knew to be perfect in His sight.

And, now she’s 11. There is a plan and a purpose to her life. He’ll show this to her as she grows, and I’m just extra thankful to be her mama and get to guide her along this journey. So many promises kept.

Every child has a very special story surrounding his or her birth. There’s always some drama, there’s always some fear, and always lots of love. Sometimes it’s hard to relive the scary or sad parts, but I think doing so helps us to appreciate all the details in between. He never leaves nor forsakes, and we are all planned and perfect in His sight.